Apparently, I’m an anomaly. Now that I’m a mom of 3 the first question I am always asked is “how’s life with 3?” And for now my answer is always the same….CRAZY. But it’s a good crazy. Do I sometimes feel like a pendulum chrome ball constantly being whacked back and forth with no end? Yes. The only alone time I have is late at night once everyone has gone to bed and it’s just me. That’s when I let out a large sigh of relief, success, freedom or whatever you want to call it.
The decision to have 3 children was not an easy one for me. Actually, it cost me many sleepless nights. It pervaded all of my thoughts for at least a good two years. Being one of 3 kids myself was definitely a major contributing factor. Let’s not forget that I am a third child. Had my parents stopped at 2, I wouldn’t be writing this. Truth is my heart always knew that 3 kids was my destiny. However, I still had to convince my brain and of course my husband of the same.
But after 3 pregnancies, 3 deliveries, and 3 newborns, I know our decision to have one more baby was worth it. The cravings, the nausea, the indigestion, and the countless visits to my chiropractor are a distant memory. I couldn’t allow the statistical 2.5 kid household to decide my destiny. (And who in the hell has .5 kid!?)
So to answer the question, life with 3 is nonstop. It’s a constant race against time to accomplish everything you set out to do for the day. With a thousand things to manage in one day, you can only imagine the number of mistakes I make. My worst enemy is my memory recall. My husband always tells me to make a list so I don’t forget. Problem is that I can’t freaking remember to make a list! I literally try everything to remind myself to do something: iphone reminders with an alert, sticky notes, strategically placing an item next to my purse, and an iphone calendar. And still I forget! Why? Because either I don’t look at my carefully placed reminder or I’m so distracted by someone or something, I completely overlook it. This is my daily struggle as a mom of 3. Thank goodness my sweet little Havanese is so patient and has strong bladder control. She’s lucky if I’ve remembered to walk her more than 3 times a day. I think you get my point.
I like to think I’m an expert in the art of last minute. I am always cutting it too close. I wait until the very last minute to do everything. Early is not even in my vocabulary. Trying to time things to the last second when you have 3 kids is virtually an impossible task. I’ve become accustomed to rushing all day long. It sure does keep me on my toes though.
Yet, despite my countless daily mistakes, “oh crap” moments, and last minute rushing, I have never felt one iota of regret. Life is too short to wonder what if. So we rolled the dice. My friends all melt every time baby H is around. They love on her like she’s their own. One friend likes to remind me that her uterus hurts every time she sees H. I feel so blessed to be the one taking her home. We relish every single second with H more so than we did the first two. We know she is our last so we savor it instead of rushing through it.
I was always looking for a sign to answer my question if we should try for number 3. The best advice I found was the following: You may regret not trying for the baby, but you will never regret having the baby. My bottom line to those who need some direction would be to follow your heart not your brain. Your brain can think of a hundred reasons not to have another baby, but your heart can hold more love.
I cherish my life as a mom of 3 and nothing will ever change that.
*Kudos to you moms who have 4 or more kids. You are true superheroes.
Mama’s Mantra: Follow Your Heart- If you’re not sure if you’re done, you’re probably not.