Parenting Tips

Choker-Gate

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The 1990’s has come back to haunt me.  And it’s in the shape of the rainbow choker. I used to love my black stretchy choker necklace. But I was 15 and goth-style was in. Now, I think they’re just plain ugly.  There’s really nothing cute about it. Yet, L LOVES it.  My husband and I refused to buy the new 2016 version for her. Well, more so he did. I may think it’s ugly and unstylish, but he associates it with sluttiness – probably because in high school, the cool, easy girls wore them.  (When I informed him that I wore one in high school, his response was “yea, and I would have liked you because I would have thought you were a slut.”) Needless to say, he wouldn’t dare allow his seven year old to wear one.

However, during a back to school shopping trip with my mother in law, L took advantage of my MIL’s naivety of our choker debate. L was so excited to wear it on the first day of school. But my dear husband quickly put the kabosh on wearing it – ever! So, enter the second day of school. It’s 7am, and I’m trying to rush L out of the house for school. While L and my husband are both standing by the door, I unexpectedly needed to put something into one of the small zipper pockets of her backpack.  And holy moley– what on earth did I just find?!  The rainbow choker! I pulled it out of the zippered pocket and say, “L, I don’t think you meant to bring this to school, did you?” L grabbed the choker out of my hand so fast and ran back to her room. She reemerged as if it nothing happened. My husband and I stared at one another in shock. O.M.G. she is only 7! And already she’s pulling these undercover antics.  Good luck to us… :*(

What did we learn from this incident – other than the fact that we’re completely screwed with three girls? I won’t speak for my husband because this isn’t his blog, but for me it meant one thing. Pick Your Battles Wisely!  I couldn’t believe that my second grader was already trying to out-parent me. That feeling sucks.  I personally though didn’t think that the choker debate was really worth having.  Does a 7 year old have any idea what a slut is or what sluttiness means? Heck no! (At least not mine) She merely liked the necklace because other girls at school wear them and it stretches. So, for me let her wear the darn, ugly necklace. She’s a good girl in every other way and a simple $2.00 necklace does not change that. She also likes to tuck her shirts into her shorts like Steve Urkel, but does that make her a nerd. Nope.  Maybe a strange dresser, but that’s all. If we hadn’t put so much pressure on her about not doing something, then she wouldn’t have been forced to go behind our backs. I totally believe in putting down the gauntlet when it’s critical to her health, safety and well-being. But this…not worth it.

 

Mama’s Mantra: Pick your battles wisely.  One day you’ll really need the win and you might not get it if you fight for everything.

 

photo cred: Amazon seller

 

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